From the realm of the absurd

Ok, some people are going to take this the wrong way. Some will read this post and say "Of course, he's a conservative or a Republican." This post has nothing to do with politics. (This is for your benefit Greenfield.) But we need to seriously rethink this whole English versus Spanish versus Russian versus whatever else.

I love Ranch Style Beans. I'm told they were the only kind of vegetable I would eat as a child, other than potatoes of course. For those that don't know what Ranch Style Beans are, here you go. Now I'm not sure they are processed here in Fort Worth, but at least twice a day, five days a week, I drive past a large factory/ plant emblazoned with the "Ranch Style" logo on it, so I assume there is some local connection. But that's beside the point.

What does this have to do with English as a language you ask? I'll explain. The other day, my wife went to the store, and always, she picked up several cans of these delicious beans. (They are very good for Mexican food dishes, if you're wondering.) As I was helping her unpack, I grabbed a can and immediately noticed a white sticker on the can. The cans themselves of course have they typical canned food wrapper on it, but this sticker was on top of that. As I looked closer, I noticed that it was the standard nutritional information that was stuck on the normal wrapper, but it was placed on top of the normal place where the nutritional information was on the actual wrapper. But then I looked again. It was all in Spanish.

Now let's put aside the fact that I believe this can violates 2004 CFR Title 21, Volume 2, Chapter 1, Part 101, which is part of the Food and Drug Administration's Food and Cosmetic Act (Dont' ask me how I know this. I'm just a nerd.) Why is this label in Spanish in the first place? Can someone tell me this.

I have two problems with this actually. The first is that the label exists in the first place. The second is that if it exists, and has to be put on my can, why does it get to cover up the English version? I'm not sure which one bothers me more. Of course it could have just been misplaced, but all the cans were like that. Besides that, there's not really another place on the can to put the Spanish sticker.

But let's talk about the real issue. Why is it there in the first place? I mean seriously. Why does everyone have to cater to everyone else? I've eaten in little Chinese restaurants that double as a convenience store where all they sell is authentic Chinese foods. All of those labels are in Chinese. There were not English versions. There were no Spanish versions. I've walked the streets of El Paso and San Antonio where there are stores that sell only Spanish-made items. No English stickers. No French stickers.

Nine months ago I was in Russia. No English ANYTHING. Why? They assume if you are in their country, you will either speak their language or learn to adapt or do without. It's like that everywhere else in the world, but here. Why? This is not "Small town, Southern Conservative Republican" talking. This is someone from America. We are running the risk of losing all of our traditions and culture so that we can appease others.

At some point we have to take a stand and say "No more." But when will that be? I hope it's before I have to buy more Ranch Style Beans.

Comments

[Josh]

Shawn,

I'm a mere first-year law student, so my opinion may not entice. I read your blog because I find criminal defense fascinating and like your views regarding the professional status you ascribe yourself as opposed to your label of the "criminal pretender." It's a unique viewpoint I hope you'll continue to share.

In terms of this language topic, I do consider myself a rather liberal person when it comes to most political views. Nonetheless, I couldn't agree more with your contentions in this post. In fact, back in February I posted on this idea too: http://jsamuelmason.com/archives/2007/02/language_values.html

I think it's perfectly acceptable to speak a language other than English in the United States. But, I don't think it's right for ANYONE to want to be a resident who also can't speak English fluently. If one wants to be an American citizen, fantastic. Come aboard. But, such a person will never understand or absorb the culture without speaking English. Such is impossible.

It boils down to the fact that those who cannot speak English yet who wish to be residents, whether legally or illegally, NEEDLESSLY COMPLICATE our society.

As is the case with the sticker added to your favorite brand of beans (which has sort of a comical element to it). Thanks for the laugh in that regard.

Josh

[Scott Greenfield]

Oddly enough, my 13 year old made the same point last week. So I'll tell you what I told him.

Son, America is a capitalist country. Here in the good old US of A, manufacturers and retailers are free to make decisions of what language to use on ther labels that are in their financial best interests. Obviously, if it's in Spanish, they want to appeal to their Spanish speaking consumers, and in America, they're allowed to cater to whoever pays the freight.

In some Commie country, the Government would establish a national language and tell manufacturers and retailers that they MUST use the "official" language, despite the fact that it's going to hammer the bottom line.

But not in America. Oh no! We won't tolerate that pinko commie crap where hard working American's can't make their own decisions as to what language they want on their label. In America, we have fought and died for the freedom to put whatever language we want on the label, and nobody is going get that label unless they pry it out of my cold, hard fingers.

And so Shawn, let me finish with this thought. The next time you want to promote some commie, pinko agenda at the expense of real American capitalism, you better think twice. We'll be watching you.

[Josh]

Greenfield... thanks for committing the common fallacy of thinking merely explaining a phenomenon justifies such.

As a country we enact many restrictions against both freedom and capitalism. All of them have justifications for doing so. In this case, capitalism causing a different language being put on a commodity is part of a mechanism that is eroding any sense of cultural unity the USA has built over the last centuries. THAT is one justification for restricting such an act.

Sure, capitalism is what prompts the label change. Good explanation. But, that notion is so elementary that Shawn didn't have the need to expound on it...

...or, so he thought.

[Mark Jakubik]

Damn right, right back at you.

[Mark Bennett]

1L Josh,

Where are your manners? Young Shawn has earned the right to call Mr. Greenfield "Greenfield"; you haven't.

Republicans are generally oblivious to irony. Either they are thoughtless Republicans, in which case they don't dedicate enough brainpower to ideas to be able to recognize irony, or they are thoughtful Republicans, in which case their political philosophy is so contradictory that maintaining it requires resistance to irony.

Scott points out the inconsistency in Young Shawn's positions. Young Shawn won't get it because he's a thoughtful Republican and has a malfunctioning irony detector but, because he thinks, some day his irony detector will kick in and he'll laugh at his younger self.

[Matlock]

Now, now. So testy. Josh, thank you for the comments. I appreciate your input. I wish I could take credit for taking the intellectually superior high ground on MR. Greenfield's comment, but in reality I just haven't gotten around to much over the holiday.

As for Bennett's comment, this post really has nothing to do with politics or the practice of law. As my wife relates the story to me (she claims to have found the sticker by the way, but you really can't trust her. She lies.), it was simply an irritating moment when we couldn't figure out the nutritional value of these beans. The mere fact that I actually care about the nutritional value of the beans is really the more frightening aspect of this post.

I have become a grown up.