God is a terrorist

I wonder about things. Certain things interest me that perhaps don't interest others. I'm a little different. I admit that. I don't think it's a surprise to anyone.

So one of the things I have been wondering about lately has been the Federal Building here in Fort Worth. You see, it is essentially next door to my office building, the Commerce Building. It is home to any number of federal agencies etc... and of course is heavily guarded.

So one day as I walked past the Federal Building I began to wonder what would happen if someone tried to pull an Oklahoma City-type bombing on this building. The Oklahoma City building was somewhat separated from other buildings, at least as I recall. But the Fort Worth version is right next to several other buildings, including mine. So if something happened to the Fort Worth Federal Building, what might happen to my building?

After some thought, I thought my building would be okay because of the building's parking garage. There is a four-story parking garage attached to my building that essentially separates my building from the Federal Building. I've decided that would provide enough of a buffer. But of course, then I thought of this. What about my car?

If the garage does its job and takes the brunt of the punishment, won't my car be destroyed? This caused me some concern, I must say. So I did what everyone does when confronted with the possibility that a terrorist attack on a federal facility could cause collateral damage to a neighboring building, and thus, the cars within it. I called Allstate.

After some time on hold (more than I care to acknowledge) I was connected with a "Customer Service Representative." I asked very simply if my car was covered by a terrorist attack. I got a chuckle. I thought this was an rather inappropriate response. When the "CSR" (I think they prefer this monicker) realized I was serious, she asked me to explain.

I explained the building situation. After some discussion as to my belief as to the direct cause of the damage to the car, she came to a rather shocking conclusion. My car, if it were to be damaged, would be damaged by an act of God.

Now, for those out there that aren't dumb enough to have gone to law school, "an act of God" is one of those little phrases lawyers like to include in contracts to alleviate liability. The world is flooded and you refused to jump on that crazy guy's boat, you're probably not covered. It's an act of God. Some bush catches on fire and starts talking to you, but torches your house. Probably not covered. It's an act of God.

After I realized what the CSR was saying, I realized that my insurance company equates a terrorist attack with an act of God. At least in this instance.

Now, do I think my insurance company thinks God is a terrorist? I don't think so. But you never know. What I do know is that perhaps this CSR needs to rethink that determination. Maybe I need a new insurance company though.

Comments

[Doug Weathers]

Once again with the wording of this post. "God", "terrorist", "bombing", "Federal Building", "Oklahoma City", "attack","federal facility". You really are trying to increase your readership at the NSA, CIA, FBI. Do you think they waterboard Rebublicans?

[Matlock]

Hey, if they aren't already, I'm surprised. This kind of stuff just makes getting that FISA warrant that much easier.

By the way guys, turn the lights off when you leave after your sneak-and-peak.

[shg]

Doug is very funny. Right now, I'm making those noises that Beavis used to emit. hehehehehe.