Yeah. I know. I am a danger to society. A menace. A criminal in waiting. Except, not.
It appears our friendly neighborhood Fort Worth Police Department have it out for me. Again. If you will recall, I posted some time ago (can't remember when, though) about driving the back way to my house from the local Lowe's and getting pulled over for "fitting the profile" of someone that shouldn't be in the area. It wasn't a nice part of town and I was dressed as anything but a lawyer. The officer asked to search my car, I protested, and I thought I was going to jail.
While I certainly never agreed with the search request, I could at least understand where the cop was coming from, but only if I ignored everything I learned in law school and what I believe in and realized I lived in a police state. And even then, only slightly. You see, I was in my car with the windows down and music blarring (if I recall correctly, it was Jay-Z (bad white guy!)). My hat was on backwards also. So, of course, I was a threat.
This afternoon, however, I couldn't have looked any less threatening.
I needed some pants altered. As it turns out, there isn't really a tailor in downtown Fort Worth. However, there is one on the South Side. The South Side is an historical area of Fort Worth south of downtown. The homes all date to roughly the 1920's to the 1940's, and it is somewhat of an up and coming area of town after having fallen into disrepair over the years. I know this because we used to own a renovated 1940's bungalow house in the area.
So, this afternoon, I took a pair of pants to have them altered. I knew where the tailor was located, and I figured since I was over there, I would swing by the old house to see how it looked. (The neighborhood was always a little "iffy" which is why we moved) Strangely, I noticed I had a visitor. The fuzz was trailing me.
Driving from the tailor (just off of 8th Ave. and near Berry Street if you're looking for a good tailor) to the old house takes you through a rough area of town, admittedly. I suppose the white guy in a shirt and tie in a Land Rover looks "suspicious." I drove through the neighborhood to the old house and slowed down to take a look at it and the area. Big mistake.
This appeared to cause the officer some concern, as he would later tell me. As I was driving away, there was some road construction so I couldn't go the way I wanted. Since I was in the area, I thought I would drop by a friend's office which is also in the area, sort of. Another big mistake.
It only took the officer three blocks of following me through the side streets to decide to pull me over. Shockingly, I was speeding. 30 in a 25. Who drives that slow?
Once I was pulled over, the officers "approached the vehicle." (Said in my best officer voice.) One officer to the rear passenger side and the other to the driver's side. The driver's side officer asked for my license and insurance, and he ran it to discover that I have no outstanding warrants. I was relieved.
The back area of the Rover has a pull-down cover so you can't see what might be back there. This seemed to cause the other officer some concern because he told the other officer that he couldn't see. When the driver's side officer came back, he asked what I was doing in the area. "Driving." Perhaps too abrupt?
"What is someone like you doing in this part of town?" Of course, me being me, I really wanted to say I was looking for some crack, but that since the officer was there, if he could direct me to the closest Krispy Kreme I would appreciate it. I held back.
I told the officer I was just driving and looking at the neighborhood and was on my way to "my lawyer's office." And then, it came.
"Do you mind if we look around in your vehicle?"
Luckily for me, I had already taken out the 10 kilos of cocaine, the bloody murder weapon, and the WMDs. But my distrust for these officers remained nonetheless.
"Why? What would you expect to find in my car?" No specific response was given. They would "just like search your vehicle."
I couldn't help it. It was like a reflex at this point.
"Do you have a warrant?"
"Did you see me do anything illegal?"
"Did you see anything be placed into my car or taken out?"
"Do I have a warrant for my arrest?"
"Are you arresting me for something?'
And so it continued for a few minutes, with some shockingly incorrect answers from the cops at times. For example, "You were speeding which is against the law, so we COULD arrest you for that." Actually, no. Despite the Lago Vista case, there are two things for which a person cannot be arrested in Texas and they are Open Container and SPEEDING. (*As an aside, this was ironically on the TCCDLA list serve as a topic recently. I need to read the list serve more often. It might save my life one of these days.)
So after the officers were thoroughly frustrated, the lead officer said simply "Have a nice day, sir. Drive safely." And just like that, they were gone.
Oddly, I never got that ticket.
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